The Lie Detector
by ColonelShaw
Summary: Simon invents a very accurate lie detector. Brittany volunteers to be the victim to demonstrate for the class and Theodore is ready to ask some VERY embarassing questions. One-Shot.


A/N: Random one-shot! I think of ideas all the time for one-shots. This one came to me while I was cleaning my kitchen. Hope you like it. Enjoy!

The Lie Detector

There are two kids in our class. Brittany Miller and my brother, Alvin. They are both snobs. They think they are too good for the rest of us. Both of them are quiet when it comes to each other. They keep to themselves. I think they have something to hide.

Alvin is always dressed with new and expensive clothes. He thinks he is good looking with his blue eyes and his "amazing" hair. He is just a poser.

Brittany is the same. And she knows it. Blue eyes and "gorgeous" brown hair, too. Skin like silk. Why do some kids get the best of everything?

I'm not as popular as them. I wear average clothes and have regular hair.

Anyway, today I have a chance to even things up. Simon is bringing latest invention- a lie detector. Brittany is the victim. She agreed to try it out because "everyone knows I would never tell a lie". Ha! What she doesn't know is that Simon and I are going to ask her some very embarrassing questions.

Simon is the smartest kid in the school. His inventions always work. He's probably smarter than the teachers! And now he has brought along his latest effort. A lie detector.

He tapes two wires to Brittany's arm. "It doesn't hurt," he says. "But it's amazingly accurate." He switches on the machine, and a little needle swings to the middle of the dial. "Here is a trial question," he says. "Are you a girl?"

Brittany nods.

"You have to say yes or no." Simon says.

"Yes," replies Brittany. The needle swings over to **TRUTH**. Maybe this thing really works. Simon gives a big grin.

"This time tell a lie," Simon says. "Are you a girl?" He asks again.

Brittany smiles with that lovely smile of hers. "No," She says. A little laugh starts in the room, but then the kids gasp. The needle points to **LIE**. This lie detector is a terrific invention.

"Okay," Simon says. "You only have seven questions, Theodore. The batteries will die after another seven questions." He sits down behind the machine and fiddles with the knobs.

This is going to be fun. I am going to find out a little bit about Alvin and Brittany. It's going to be interesting. Very interesting.

I ask my first question. "Have you ever kissed my brother, Alvin?"

Brittany goes red. Alvin goes red as well. I've got them this time. I'm sure they have something going on between them. I will expose them.

"No," Brittany says. Everyone cranes their neck to see what the lie detector says. The needle points to **TRUTH**.

I frowned. This is not what I expected. And I only have six questions left. I can't let her off the hook. I am going to expose them both.

"Have you ever held his hand?"

Again she says, "No." And the needle says **TRUTH**. I am starting to feel guilty. Why am I doing this?

I try another tactic. "Are you in love?" I ask.

A red flush starts to crawl up her neck. I am really feeling like a jerk now. Alvin is as red as a tomato.

"Yes," She says. The needle points to **TRUTH**. I shouldn't have let the kids talk me into doing this. I decide to put Brittany and Alvin out of their misery. I won't actually name him. I'll spare her that much. "Is he in this room?" I ask.

She looks at the red Alvin. "Yes," she says. The needle points to **TRUTH**.

"Does he have blue eyes?" I ask.

"No," She answers.

**TRUTH**.

"Brown?" I say.

"No," She says again.

**TRUTH**.

I don't know what to say next. I look at each kid in the class carefully. Alvin has blue eyes. I was sure that she was in love with him.

"This thing doesn't work," I say to Simon. "I can't see one boy in this room who doesn't have either blue or brown eyes."

"We can," says Simon. They are all looking at me.

I can feel _my_ face turning red now. I wish I could slip through the floor, but I get on with my last question. "Is he an idiot?" I ask.

Brittany is extremely embarrassed. "Yes," she says in a voice softer than a whisper. "And he has green eyes."


End file.
